Final Feature

Mazen Hassan

Introduction to Journalism

Final Feature Story

5/2/2011

“The Man in the Mirror”

I had lost 18 pounds in a week. Having a major photo-shoot coming up with a widely-publicized up and coming designer, left me incredibly nervous, as I already had my measurements taken and the clothes were made to fit accordingly. A lot of money was poured into this project; and my agents warned me that I needed to pull this off impeccably in order to secure future gigs - so needless to say, the pressure was on.

I was extremely sick at the time and couldn’t keep anything down, yet was trying to force-feed myself and do pushups to beef up. On the day of the shoot, I walked in trembling, so worried that I would be fired on the spot for being underweight…but the second I put the clothes on, I was struggling to fit into them or even close the buttons. “PERFECT, your body is just perfect!” yelled out the designer who shall go unnamed, due to his decision to decline to comment. “Do you do pilates, diet, or what’s your secret to maintaining that figure?!” I didn’t know whether to be relieved and flattered or disturbed and offended, as I watched the stylist squeeze me into a tight-fitting turtleneck, pulled over my protruding ribs and sunken in chest. I was being celebrated for being emaciated. “This is what they want me to look like; this is what will make me successful?” I thought to myself. Turns out being a male model isn’t as fun or glamorous as it seems.

Abiah Hosdevlt 21, model and artist, couldn’t agree more. “I grew up loving fashion and photography, and when I was scouted I thought I had stepped into a fantasy land…not a land of smoke and mirrors where nothing is quite what it seems” said Hosdevlt. Originally hailing from Jamaica, he was discovered by a photographer at Washington Square Park while skating with his friends at 15, a mere two years after first moving to New York. “I thought the guy was some sleazy perv, but he gave me his card, and when I looked him up online with my mother, we saw that he shot some really huge campaigns with a lot of top models. So I decided to pursue it, but I had no idea what I was going into really. I was young, naïve and hungry for success, and at any cost I thought.”

Though he started working rather steadily, not much money was being made, and a lot had to be sacrificed to do so. Hosdevlt, like many other young struggling male models, found out rather quickly that underneath the glamorous exterior of the cutthroat fashion and modeling industry, laid webs of deceit, and extremely unhealthy environments and living conditions he wasn’t sure he was ready to handle.

After six months working with different photographers and building his portfolio, he was told by his agent in NYC that he had been requested by a booker at Ford Europe – one of the, if not the, biggest and most-well known agencies in the world. “It was unbelievable. I had these hotshot agents telling me they were flying me to Paris first class, giving me a driver and limo, putting me into a luxury agency apartment right near the Eiffel Tower on their tab, and that I already was booked for jobs,” Hosdvelt said, lost in thought at the beginning of it all. “It seemed too good to be true, but I pushed aside my reservations and went for it. I should have listened to my gut, but instead I chased my dream.”

That dream illusion was shattered shortly after arriving in France, and being shown to his “luxury” apartment. He was escorted into an old cramped, dingy, unfurnished, cob-webbed apartment, to meet his fellow model roommates – all eight of them, who were stuffed into a tiny open living space like fashion sardines. “It was a mess. There were roaches and mice crawling over us while we’d try to sleep, which we couldn’t even do as there was no air conditioning or even a fan in the sweltering heat,” Hosdevlt spewed out angrily recalling those early days. “There was no space for any of us to be comfortable, even being forced to share what was essentially one room and one broken bathroom amongst nine stinky young guys…it was uninhabitable. I mean there were days we didn’t even have anything to eat.”

Being in such close quarters all the time with the same guys you are competing against for work, doesn’t exactly create the smoothest living situation either. “I mean even though I was only 16, I knew how to take care of myself to an extent. A lot of the other guys were kids – 14 years old left to vie for themselves, homesick lonely and depressed. So getting booked and making money, to show that this would all be worth it was a priority for all of us,” Abiah explained as to why he kept going even though the experience had not been what he thought it would be.

Eventually the situation went from uncomfortable to unbearable, as the internal envy and jealously began to boil over with the boys in the apartment. “Nobody trusted each other, everyone tried to sabotage each other, destroying personal belongings, taunting the younger kids to drive them out and have less competition. And the agents never intervened or took care of us like they promised our parents they would. We were like young malnourished painted up beasts vying for ourselves in a crazy fashion jungle.”

Having completed a slew of high profile jobs after two months in Paris, Hosdvelt had been eagerly anticipating his first big check from the agency so he could finally move out of the model’s apartment, send some money back home, and just be able to afford to eat without having to go and beg his agency for an advance or stipend. When he finally did get that first check though, something wasn’t right. “I looked at the gross amount of the check and saw $21,500 and was floored. I couldn’t believe I had made so much money in eight weeks! I then took a closer look at how much was actually made out to me, and saw $964 as the actual amount. I felt like I had been cheated, tricked and scammed.”

When first being signed to an agency it is made to seem that all costs are being offset and covered by them, which is not the case. Once the model starts working and making money, they first need to reimburse the agency for travel and living expenses, test shoots with photographers, the cost of their portfolio and actual pictures, any stipends handed out, placement and promotion of the model on their website, and any other miscellaneous cost they see fit. So in the end, the model has to essentially work just to pay back their bookers, and they are lucky if they break even to make any profit whatsoever. Though female models endure the same thing in the beginning of their careers, they are way more in demand, bring in higher salaries, and are generally more taken care of by their agencies and the designers they work with. Male models are often overlooked, and are seen as “props” in photo-shoots, rather than the focus. They are judged and constantly scrutinized about their weight and general appearance, and are forced to be on a daily work-out regiment, and strict diet; drastically different than some people’s perception of the life of a male model.

“When I first got into this business in the early 90s, male models had Adonis-type built muscular bodies, were getting paid six-figure salaries, and had private jets and drivers. They could compete with the top female models. The industry has changed radically, and that is the result of the designer’s vision, and ultimately what the consumer looks for – and fashion just responded” says Nathan Morales, head of the men’s division at Orb Models. “The eye has changed; clothes now are tighter and tighter. Guys are younger and younger,” Morales continued, “designers like the skinny guy, it looks good in the clothes and that’s the main thing. At this point you might as well save money and just go over to the little boy’s department,” he says deadpanning, “that’s just the way it is now.”

Other industry insiders can agree that the issues surrounding male models from body types, to finances, to disposability are prevalent and not made a priority as it sometimes is for female models. A well-known and prominent casting director, who asked to not be named in order to retain close connection with his clients and protect his brand’s anonymity, said that “if a guy comes into a casting and is over 150 pounds, I won’t even look at his portfolio. If a guy comes in and looks like he’s over 23, I won’t consider him for a second – but if he’s 26 and looks 18 then he’s set,” he said without a hint of cynicism or malice. “I know it sounds harsh, but honestly these days no one wants a beautiful women or a beautiful man anymore. People are afraid to look over 21 or make any statement of what it means to be adult, or a masculine adult at that – it’s all about androgyny. Frankly it’s all child’s play.”

It had been about nine months since Abiah’s whirlwind descent into Europe, and he was growing restless and weary. He was always traveling, alone of course; if not accompanied by other models guzzling champagne or doing rails of coke on any surface that presented itself, just to deal with grueling schedule of having to be up and “on” all the time. Though Abiah said he didn’t ever get a chance to experiment like most normal teenagers his age before modeling, he found himself partaking in the late night partying, excessive drinking and habitual drug usage of his fellow models. He had come that far and wanted to “make it”, and felt pressured into doing it to save face and fit in. But like everything else, it began to take its toll physically and mentally.

His already thin frame was shedding even more pounds by the day due to lack of sleep, rare consumption of any food, and severe depression and homesickness. His angular face becoming gaunt to the point that he couldn’t even recognize the grim skeleton staring back at him in the mirror anymore…yet he continued to get booked for more and more photo shoots.

Every photographer was bizarre, pretentious and rude he claimed; and every shoot became the same dull repeated sequence of pout, pose, and flash. “Here I was working all over Europe with famous creative people, but I was doing things and being put in positions that went against all the morals and values I had been raised with…I felt empty inside,” Hosdvelt expressed about his success and confusion to accept it. As it came with a price, and he began to really lose sight of himself and his goals. Though he did his best with the cards he was dealt, and tried to remain grounded amongst the glittering prospects, vapid adulation and alluring temptations that came with the territory.

Early one morning, after having worked 14 hours straight with a seal on an ocean-themed Japanese Vogue Hommes shoot (apparently aquatics were “totally in” that season and all the rage), he decided that it gotten to be all too much, and that he needed a fresh direction; so he packed up all his things, called his agent to tell him to cancel all his bookings, and went back home to New York City.

After having taken some time off and being home, Abiah is still modeling, and trying to go back to college. “I don’t regret my decision to get into modeling, but I do wish I had been older, had more support, and more educated about the business aspects of it, because people forget - it is a business after all. And I’m just one small piece of what makes up million dollar corporations, so it is a lot of pressure,” Hosdevlt says still wrestling with whether or not this is a good or healthy career choice.

He sums up his experiences and thoughts about being a male model as a whole when asked why he’s still in a business that he claims is unhealthy and treated him harshly. “Look, at the end of the day I’m getting paid very good money to travel and take pictures – it’s not rocket science. Though my mentality is different now than it was at 16 – I understand my role. I know that I’m a product, and I have a shelf life, so I will continue to do it and save money before the next new young guy comes along and people don’t care about me anymore. Fashion is all about change; like Heidi Klum says ‘one day you’re in, the next you’re out’. My time will come. Until then…I’m just trying to enjoy the ride.”

In a world where getting sick is the ideal way to lose weight, where a size zero is the definition of beauty, and where a seal gets hair and makeup done for the cover of a magazine – that’s all you can do. Buckle up and watch what happens.